Tonight.

I can't put into words or even think of an appropriate subject for this entry. But, if you're a pug owner, a pug fan, or even a random reader of this blog please stick with me and read this.

Today, I got off work early and was able to run home for a half hour before going to my night job. I was so happy to get off early because that meant one thing...getting to go see my dogs for a few minutes. So, with the extra hour I had, I headed from NYC to Brooklyn to go spend just a few minutes with Riley and Dylan. As I got home, I opened the door and realized only Riley was there to greet me...this was a first. I proceeded in and started talking to my boyfriend as he was sitting on the couch with Dylan who was just waking up from a nap at his feet. I said to Dylan (aka Dilly) in my best pug voice, "who wants dinnnnnner?"...he didn't flinch. At that moment, I knew something was wrong. Apparently an hour before he had jumped up on the couch to take a nap, but had acted completely normal prior. Even this morning as I woke up, both Riley and Dylan sprinted out of bed, circled on the floor and started talking in pug noises because they knew it was their favorite part of the day, breakfast. I fed them, walked them, played with them, and watched them both get back in bed...a normal morning. So, coming home to this was a huge surprise. We assumed Dilly hurt his legs (which have been trouble before) and possibly even broke his back leg...but we weren't sure. Dylan still ate his dinner...but couldn't keep his balance and kept on wobbling...almost in an inebriated state. We immediately called a car and headed for the hospital. In the car on the way there I just held him so tight. To be honest, the worst scenario my mind developed was that he had broken a leg and would have to hobble around in a little cast for a while.

We got to the NYC Bobst Animal Medical Center and rushed Dylan into the Emergency Room. We met with a doctor, who said that it could be a disk problem (no signs of broken bones) and that she was going to run some tests...both physical, and neurological. I went outside to call my mom and dad...both of whom are in LOVE with their grandpugs...as any proud grandpugparents would be. They told me to stay positive and just wait to see what the doctor said. So, back in I went...to the 2nd floor, to sit and just anxiously await the doctor's return. She came back and called us into a room...where we got the horrible news, the worst news we've ever received with one of them...the worst news I've ever received. She told us she's not sure but it appeared that Dylan has an inflammatory infection...perhaps in his spine, spreading to his brain. This was determined from basic neurological tests...but as she reiterated, she was not sure what exactly was wrong. She said we needed to admit him to the ICU for the night where they could perform blood work and transfer him to the neurologist in the morning. And she kept on giving us bad news...and as she kept on mentioning, she was not certain about anything. But, she did seem pretty certain from the neurological tests that there was a possible inflammatory infection in his spine or potentially in his brain. Now THIS, we were not expecting THIS. We both broke down in that room, room #4, and I can't even explain what was going through me. My hands were shaking, tears were flowing and I could feel my heart in my chest. This was the last thing I expected to hear. Dylan and Riley both had checkups two months prior...perfect, or so we were told. I'm too distraught to go into this much more, but I will over the next few days as we find out more information...because it does seem to help.

So now, we are home...which isn't even home without our little baby Dylan. 2 years as of since September 4th...he's way too young. He's being monitored at one of the best hospitals in NYC and I guess all we can do is pray.

In the past few months I've lost my job, become unemployed, scrambled to pay the rent and become frustrated with New York City. But, none of that compares to this...not one bit. Dylan is my baby. He is my little shadow...he always has been. He sits next to me when I brush my teeth, sits outside the shower door as I shower, sits at my feet as I do the dishes and every single night he falls asleep on my right shoulder. I don't know what it's like to have kids...but, I do know what it's like to care so much about someone, you put them before you...no matter what. I mean, really, my dog's food is $3 a can...only the best for my boys. I'm 23, my boyfriend is 26, and together we've put everything into raising these 2 dogs. Unfortunately, I don't make much money and the fact that I've had no source of income for the past month, doesn't make it any easier. Tonight cost us $4,000...which I'm sure we will be paying off for a while. But if little Dylan makes it and can get this surgery without suffering too much, it will cost us more. And call me crazy, but IF he will not be in too much pain, I will do whatever it takes to save him. So, I'm calling on fellow pug owners, general bloggers and friends to help out. I know it's the holidays and everyone is on a budget...but please, if you can help us out it would be GREATLY appreciated. I have a paypal account that we will be using to accept donations. And please believe me when I say, every single penny will go to saving Dylan. If you can't donate, please just pray...to whatever or whoever you believe in. If you live in NYC, we will be putting together a benefit for Dylan...if he can pull through without pain and make it. The PayPal donate button is below. I will update this blog, with any news we hear. Please say a prayer for our little Dylan.

UPDATE: 10:54 am, Thursday: We got some great news just now...the neurologist has ruled out neurological damage as a concern. I didn't want to write about this, but there is a common fatal disease found in pugs called PDE, that affects the brain and spine of pugs and can come on immediately. Last night, I was trying to remain optimistic, but couldn't help keep on thinking that this is what had happened to my baby, that he had fallen to this terrible disease. SO, getting the news that it is not PDE, is AMAZING! He's not in the clear yet, in the next few hours we will get a call from the orthopedic surgeon who will be attempting to find out what exactly is wrong with his leg. He's still having a hard time standing straight and the pain has localized to his back right leg. We will update when we hear. The veterinarian said he might even get to come home this afternoon! :) Thank you everyone for your strong and positive thoughts...I truly believe they are helping our little Dylan.

UPDATE: 2:50 pm, Thursday: We haven't heard from the orthopedic surgeon yet, but as we were told yesterday, no news is good news. Bringing home Dylan right now might be too much of an optimistic thought...but, we're hanging in there and hoping for the best. Your comments have honestly got me through this very tiring and scary past 16 hours.

UPDATE: 11:30 am, Friday: Dylan is home, the new entry details everything and how our little man is doing.